This last weekend was Chinese New Year's here; so happy year of the Ox to everyone! The Chinese take this holiday pretty seriously, and there have been fireworks going non-stop for almost four days now. When I say fireworks, I don't mean organized displays of fireworks I was used to in Canada, I mean grown men throwing firecrackers into the streets, under cars, at my feet, at the puppy... basically everywhere. In fact, I feel Chinese New Year's should be re-named to Holiday That Let's Grown Men Act Like Children.
I've been feeling pretty down these last couple of weeks and I've been doing some pretty weird things:
- I've started planning my wedding even though D hasn't proposed yet. I show him pictures of wedding dresses and I discuss dates with him. He sort of smiles and nods but I think this freaks him out. In fact, it freaks ME out, but I can't stop doing it. I look at invitations on etsy.com, I print out styles of wedding dresses I like to show a tailor here. If I knew someone who was doing what I was doing, I would say to myself, "Man, that chick is sad."
- I bought a puzzle the other day and so far putting those stupid pieces together gives me the most satisfaction I've had in a long time. How crazy is THAT?
- I obsessively think of moving back to Canada and living alone and not having to deal with someone else's STUFF everywhere.
- I applied for this job a while ago and it would be a great job and it would mean that D and I could shave 10 years off the mortgage when we get back to Canada. The thing is, I dread getting this job. Part of me doesn't want to get this job because if I do get it, it will make being here permanent.
4 Responses to "Manicure = Lifesaver"
A job would be good to take up some of your time and maybe meet some people.....
I just got caught up on your last few posts. You're on the right track with baby steps. Nothing wrong with feeling accomplished by a puzzle or planning a whole day around Ikea! I feel the way you do a lot and I don't even have the foreign country or non-job as an excuse.
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