128.9

That number up there is what I weighed in at this morning. Usually the number is around 133-134, so for a week of watching what I eat (nothing deep fried, no sweets, no beer) I think that's pretty good. It's definitely an incentive to keep at it.

Maybe if I throw in some light exercise (sit-ups?) it'll keep dropping. In any case, it put a huge smile on my face this morning which was nice because right before waking up I was having this nightmare that I was in labour and D was nowhere to be found and the Chinese doctors wouldn't give me any drugs to take the pain away even though I was begging for them. The labour pains felt real, although it might just have been gas.

Another part of this Quantum Wellness book is about Meditation and Visualisation. I've never really done either before and while meditation makes me feel like a new-age hippie, the visualisation seems to be helping me a lot. I've realized several things about myself:

1. I have a hard time finishing projects. I'm a great starter, though. Lots of enthusiasm in the starting, but not much motivation to finish things. Like the dozens of books I start reading and then stop at about the 3/4 mark. I have about 4 books on my night table in this precise situation.
2. I internalize A LOT. I have monologues with myself about things. When I have problems in my relationships, I write internal letters to those people but never really tell them anything. Like right now, I have a running letter in my head about how annoyed I am that D never cooks me dinner; even though I don't think I've ever asked him directly to cook me dinner. I'm pretty sure this internalisation ended my last long-term relationship and I'm afraid it might end my current one if I don't make changes soon.

So, what to do? Well, for starters;

1. I'm going to finish those damn books.
2. I'm going to ask D to make me dinner.

Baby steps, right?